Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
