I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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