i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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