as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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