Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
