we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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