I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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