grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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