Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Randomize
