you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The air was thick with penises
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
