Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
