carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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