Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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