why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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