i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
