aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
