And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
