maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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