mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
