You're a womanizer and a bitch.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
