i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
