when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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