Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
