I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
