So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
