I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
