Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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