Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
