I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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