nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You ruined the universe
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
