google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
