other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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