well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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