Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
