you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
