at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I faked an abortion last night.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
