I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
