I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
