so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
