I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
