do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
