He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
