Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
