yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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