I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
