nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
