what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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