like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
