doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
