Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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